20 weeks, second go round

Happy twenty weeks babe, you're measuring 8oz this week. You've been very active, even your dad has felt you move, your sister would too but her patience level isn't quite up to speed with your sporadic movements. We found out your gender this week and will keep it a secret for a few more days, maybe weeks before we reveal online, but it does make it all the more real to know more about you and have seen you on the screen. You are healthy, and I hope happy, in your temporary home, growing each week and impressing us with your kicks and rolls. 

Your sister is very excited to meet you baby, maybe a little unsure post ultrasound, but excited nonetheless, as are we (excited not unsure). I hope you'll be fast friends and find your place in our little family, you'll be such a great addition! Keep up the good work. 

Sharing

I feel as if I'm living in some alternate reality. Think "Pleasantville" or 1950's a throwback to a time when people knew their neighbors. And I don't mean know their name or what kind of car they drive but details like what they did on their last vacation, what they are watching on tv tonight, whether or not their toddler is embracing potty training or where their child got their latest bruise or whether or not I'm pregnant; you know details we introverts like to keep to ourselves.

We like our home, we like the location in town and the giant backyard that we don't have to maintain. We like that it is one of the few spots in town to have sidewalks. But what I'm finding hard to live with is that we also share our leisure space with all the other folks on our street; our neighbors.

I recently read a book "Assimilate or Go Home", the author and her husband purposefully move into apartment housing to live in closer community to others. They have a fierce desire to know their neighbors, to love them and serve them. It sounds so good, reading it on the page that is, living it out is proving to be harder than I like. It's not that I don't want to know the people living down the street but usually my first inclination is to get the mail and hide out in my backyard or inside my house, meanwhile my extroverted husband and daughter are itching for a walk, socialization i.e. neighbor time.

And so we've settled into a routine; checking mail and taking a walk after dinner. Part of me hopes there won't be anyone out, that they'll be too busy to talk and we can quickly circle back home. I do enjoy talking with them and being blessed by the parenting comradery and gifts of toys they seem to think my daughter needs but man does it stretch me.

Toys that often come with parenting instruction that our sweet neighbors think Isabel "needs"

It's uncomfortable to share, to make conversation. It feels unnatural and often times I dread it but I'm pretty sure it's good for me and I definitely don't want my daughter to be holed up inside all because mom couldn't manage a 15 minute convo with the neighbor, revealing intimate details like what house number is ours (please don't come knocking) and what our families future plans are (read a hint, just a hint of sarcasm in this last sentence, there is also a lot of truth)

So to my husband who hopes we always live in townhouses with shared leisure space I can't say I'll always be on board with that plan thanks for dragging this introvert along,  this time anyway.

New Friend

As you may have guessed we aren't going overseas this fall. Instead we have a different sort of adventure waiting for us. We will welcome Baby number two this Spring, three cheers (or is it four now?) for us!

How to prepare for life overseas: Bread making

Previously I've mentioned that we are waiting. Waiting for what you might ask? Waiting on the government. You can laugh now, I give you my blessing. We've applied, the royal we here, I'm just playing a supporting role, to work for the State Department teaching English overseas beginning in the Fall. There are a lot of details that I'll save for later, stories and exciting what ifs but that's for another time. 

I've lived overseas before and am desperate to begin the prep work should we be accepted. The location could be anywhere really. So since packing for Eastern Europe or South America could have very different ramifications on our wardrobe choices I'm holding off on the delicious yard sale scores I'm sure are to come.

What I did decide to focus on was bread. For many months now we've been making our own bread but in a bread machine. And since I'm pretty sure we won't have one of those, wherever we end up, I wanted to master, or at least feel comfortable, making our bread from scratch. This is proving to be more difficult than I first thought. After extensive research, including making and eating lots of bread-yum, I decided to perfect my sourdough. 

Though it is sometimes frustrating, but still yummy, I haven't given up yet. I did purchase a baking scale and am determined to make a loaf similar to the picture included with my recipe. I've been close but not yet close enough. I have to keep reminding myself that it is just bread, it'll be eaten in a days time anyway but I want to do this well, to be proud of my creation, so I keep baking. Below is only half the story really, if I could bottle up the smell and send it to you I'm sure you're mouth would be watering as mine is now. 

See the separation on top? That is called an ear, a good sign of a great loaf!

I added a bit of rosemary and oregano to this particular loaf, so tasty.

In my angst

Today was one of those days, actually this week there have been many of 'those' days. Days where my inability to control my life makes me frustrated, and downright angry. Go on an laugh, my husband often does, always telling me I never had control of it in the first place but I like to operate under the illusion that I do, that I have a least, maybe just a little, say it how things go.

Right now we are in a season of waiting. I hate it. It's so uncomfortable to be in limbo. This week I've felt like our life is on pause, while we await answers to our future; desperate to plan, prepare and dream about what's to come my anger and frustration grow.

We have a small pocket of trees right off our back patio, maybe 15 small trees grow together. When we moved into our place last August the largest of the trees didn't have any leaves. We often lamented the loss, especially in August and September, willing there to be a least a little protection from the whisp of the leafless branch. A few weeks ago, like magic, all the trees began to sprout their green buds and leaves, except of course what we have come to call our 'skeleton' tree.

I begged Dan to let me prune the tree, as there were no leaves last summer and I was tired of looking at the long skinny branch, taunting me with its ugly bare bones. We agreed I'd wait, at least a few weeks more, maybe it was a late bloomer. I waited, but I could bear it no longer, I took my clippers and began to hack away at the skeleton. What I didn't notice, until after the first clip of course, was that there were the tiniest green buds sprouting on the skeleton. In my haste I cut off our longest shade branch, a commodity if there ever was one on the back patio. I felt sick.

Patience has never been my strength. When Isabel was growing larger and larger in my belly and working her way further and further past her due date my OB told me that if I knew baby was coming tomorrow I could most definitely wait, it wasn't that I was unable but it was the unknown that was the tricky part. The unknown; when will the baby be here, will the tree ever bloom, will we ever be able to make plans for upcoming months?

This week as I was analyzing my feelings, this happens a lot around our house, I realized my life could very quickly becoming another short limb. If I'm not careful I could very easily take matters into my own hands, rushing and pushing and even cutting. In my desperate search for plans what I really need is peace, a large dose of peace as we wait out the uncomfortable stretch of what's to come. Please pray for patience before I start hacking away. 

You can come too

We went to the zoo today. It was probably one of those "Mom and Dad are enjoying this more than you, kid" kinda trips but regardless we took advantage of half price Tuesday and the humid free day; taking in the sad but exciting exhibits. I think once you've seen the real thing in person the zoo just isn't the same. But Isabel didn't know the difference, about anything really, she was just excited to be walking around (a skill just one month fresh).

A little rant here: The zoo is so pathetic really, seeing the skin folding over the giraffe's meatless bones or the small bald eagles quarters, or the blue paint behind the monkey's "tree" or the mounds of dust balls collecting outside the otters cage, it is all just really depressing. You know what's really cool is chasing a giraffe though the tall grasses in Kenya, or seeing an eagle fly over the Port Susan Bay in Washington, or have a real live monkey walk all over your dinning room table and cling to your dress skirt begging for after dinner scraps. That's what I want for Isabel, none of this viewing the elephants with the freeway speeding behind but real, up close and personal animals, hippos that bump the bottom of your boat on safari; more of that!  Rant over. 

Besides the let down of the zoo, our day brought back memories. Not of trips to the zoo but of days packed with summer. Growing up at home my mom would always take us to the water-slides or the river; our days smelled of sunscreen and a little sweat and after a full day of activity we slithered back into the car and dragged our weary bones home. I'm pretty sure being on the other side of the scenario this time I was even more bone weary and still smelled of sunscreen and dare I say a little more sweat than the childhood me, but I felt happy as we dragged tired happy selves into the house. It was our turn today, our turn to create a day of fun for little Isabel, our turn to chase her around, herding her like cats to the next exhibit, it was our turn to lather on the sunscreen and pack the picnic lunch and create some excitement, faux tree and all.

Spring has sprung

Thankfully, we don't have a very long winter to sit though, nevertheless, I've been itching for Spring; for some fresh dirt, some bloomin' trees and warmer weather. It's official it has arrived! Spring for us means a break from school, trees blooming end of Feburary/beginning of March: shouting loudly "I'm here". There are still many vines and trees that lie sleeping but the hope of more is present, mmm new life!

Since we have a break from routine we are soaking up the warm weather with lots of time outside, dining alfresco, Dan's favorite. 

We've also spruced up our trees out back and planted a small garden. These last four years I've been planting in containers; fun, but not nearly as fun as planting in the ground. I've been salivating for some space to make my own. Today we broke ground. 

These next few months are some of my favorite in Tuscaloosa, warm and sunny minus the humidity. We've taken it upon ourselves to soak it up before May marches in with scorching, humid days. 

First Birthday

Happy First Birthday! Congratulations to you, and us, for finishing the year out strong. I feel like this last week a flip was switched and you can do so many new things. You've added some words to your vocabulary, you now say hot- making the h and t sounds, you can also say hi and often talk on your phone, to who I'm not sure. And you've started to say do-do, which everyone knows means dog. You say it when you hear one and see one, a live one or a picture- go you, that is a big accomplishment!

You've also grown quite a bit, as we see from your photos, but you are "walking" now, across the living room and down the hall, often without being prompted- it's so exciting!

And my new favorite, you seem to understand us now, you can follow directions, bringing me socks or toys from where you are sitting. Ahhh to be understood. I know you also love to be understood, 'cause when I acknowledge that there actually is a do-do (dog) outside you get so excited, almost in tears with relief. Here's to another year of learning to communicate. 

We love you girl, Happy First Birthday!

Uncle John

Dan and his siblings grew up with an Uncle John and now our girl will too! Meet our Uncle John, even though he now lives in Montana we've still been able to see him a few times this year- though not as much as we'd like (hint, hint), we've even been able to chart Isabel's growth through the year. 

March, 6 weeks old in Mississippi

July, 5 months old in Washington.

December, 10 months old in WA

Loves to all Uncle Johns out there!

11 Months

We are weeks away from having a one year old. Ready or not, here she comes!

We spent the majority of this last month in Washington celebrating the Holidays with family. You are such a trooper; considering all the different people we spent time with. I know you prefer to be with me (who doesn't) so the only way we could get you to spread the love to others was for me to leave the room, or house. We may have to work on that skill in the coming weeks, but I know they loved having you around, near or far from me. 

You are cutting three molars now, we are all feeling the pain and discomfort, you more than us I'm guessing. 

You can now say uh-oh, wave bye bye, point your finger as a greeting and most everything has the label of dada. I'm sure you haven't forgotten about mama right?

You've taken a total of 10 steps in a row but still aren't "walking". I'm thankful for that and would encourage you to take your time. No sense in rushing things, there will be plenty of time for that later, just enjoy being 11 months for now. Much love, dada and mama.